Anti-Asshole Alarm

Now this morning I wake up, go to my car to start my day and there is pink fruit drink poured on the passenger side of my car. Ya know, I don’t know if I am just having bad luck with this car or someone thinks its funny to start fucking around with me, or what but this is starting to really get annoying. I don’t have a boyfriend, I am not attracted to anyone, I don’t know anyone in this neighborhood so I don’t know who keeps fucking around with my car. So next payday, I guess I have to invest in an alarm because this is just getting out of hand.

I have an anti-theft alarm on it … but now I need an “anti-asshole” alarm.