Category: Mobile

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A few days ago, a shooting broke out on the A train because two guys and a woman drank testosterone for breakfast and chose violence putting the lives of everyone in danger.

And just now, I’m on the N train listening to my music when I suddenly see a bunch of people getting off and staring worriedly past me. Immediately my Spidey senses go off so I turn off my music. If you’re not a New Yorker, then you might wonder why in the world would people suddenly exiting the train be a red flag? Well after some time living here, you know which people get off where and a bunch of random people getting off at NYU when it’s not a school day is a huge red flag. It’s a  university stop so you normally don’t see many getting off there if at all on a weekend. But not today.

Turns out my Spidey senses were right. When I turned down my music I heard someone behind me yelling. “Hello? HELLO?! CAN YOU READ THE ROOM?!! YOU’RE HAVING FUN IN FRONT OF ME RIGHT NOW WHEN I’M HAVING A BAD TIME! WHY ARE YOU IGNORING ME! I KNOW YOU CAN SEE ME! RIGHT NOW! RIGHT NOW. RIGHT NOW. I KNOW YOU CAN SEE ME!! …”. At that point he went straight robot mode and just started repeating gibberish. Over and over.

Clearly the guy was having a meltdown on the train and I wasn’t going to turn around to see who he was talking to, if anyone. I also wasn’t going to fuck around and find out so I got off at the next stop … And so did about 8 other people behind me. I knew they were abandoning ship for Mr. Crazy because all of us just got onto the next car to get away from “the problem”.

Lesson learned. There is no shortage of crazies in this zaney city. Keep your eyes peeled. Trust your senses. When you see people moving shifty, you better listen.

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Getting a bit annoyed now with all these “end of the world” spoofs. Its impossible to predict the day people so get over it. No mystical Mayan calendar or long lost Nostradamus predictions have the answer either. Hundreds of supposedly dooms day predictions have come and gone over the centuries and STILL the crazies keep coming up with new dates and people keep believing them and posting them all over the internet. The end of the world was suppose to be a few days ago, the day has come and passed and we’re still here and already someone else has come up with a new date for 2012.

If you REALLY want to know when the end of the world is, I can tell you that and any average person who knows about the life cycle of a planet can tell you that too; even a 10 year old.  Do you really want to know when the end of the world is? Like anything else on this planet, it happens gradually, it can’t happen all in one day.  In fact, the world is already coming to an end as we speak, this planet won’t last forever.  Every second the sun gets closer to dying and when it does it will take planet Earth with it in a ball of flame as it turns into a red giant.

No one will ever see the end of the world anyways because we will die thousands if not millions of years before it even happens, as the Earth becomes uninhabitable from the effects of the dying sun, so just stop worrying about it. Everything on Earth will be long dead because Earth will either freeze or burned to a crisp by the sun and trust me you WILL WANT to be dead when it happens. I’d feel sorry for any human, if we are not extinct by then, who could manage to still be alive at that time as the Earth would be a cinder ball; it would be one of the most horrific ways to die.  In either case it will be about another 5 BILLION years before the world comes to an end so yea go mark that date on your calendar.

See you dont need to go buy some guy’s dooms day book for $39.95 to find that out; I just told you for free.